Not Bitter....Joy.

Naomi could not see past her circumstances. The hand was dealt, the credits were rolling. Naomi believed with her head that her God was sovereign, but she was too soul-weary to believe with her heart. And so she calls it. Game over. Name changed…  She couldn’t imagine the bitterness becoming beauty, but her sovereign God could….

We are not named by our circumstances. We are named by our good God.

Is there a discrepancy between the names by which Jesus calls you and the names you give yourself? Are there circumstances in your life to which you are giving undue power, power that rightfully—and in reality!—belongs to our sovereign God alone?  Sister, who names you today—your God or your circumstances? 

My friend Courtney recommended the #shereadstruth bible study and I'm so glad that she did! I dove head first into the Ruth study. I have studied Ruth before and honestly thought "I know Ruth." But God always has something new to teach us doesn't He? This study has been such a blessing and came at absolute perfect timing. The above paragraphs are from today's devotional.

These past few weeks I have felt connected to Naomi. The circumstances are different but the feelings are the same. I am in a good place now but there was a time that I too could have changed my name to bitter. Infertility is in a simple phrase....just plain awful. It sucks. Sorry but that's just the best word for it. It is the craziest roller coaster that you will ever ride. I spent the first several years alot like Naomi. Naomi believed with her head that her God was sovereign, but she was too soul-weary to believe with her heart.   I can look back and see that God was always there. He never left me. My Heart did finally catch up to what I knew to be true. My circumstances do not define who I am. God defines who I am. He knows every hair on my head and holds every tear is his hand. His love for me is far more than anything I can even try to imagine and he has never once left me alone in this journey. I remember the day I finally laid it all at his feet. I say finally because this was hard. Friends would tell me give it all to God. I didn't know how! I wanted to so badly but just couldn't. I prayed that He would help me do this and He did. I will never forget that day and how it felt to kneel before Him and pour it all out. When I rose I knew that I had finally given up my control and gave it to the only one who had the control in the first place. Micah and I since decided to become foster parents and though we are once again waiting I wait with joy in my heart. There are moments that my heart still hurts but I know God has a beautiful plan in place and I will praise Him in our journey. 

Info on Foster Care

Adopting From Foster Care - What Is It Really Like  A friend who is actually living this out right now shared this article on Facebook this week. While we are waiting to hear from DHR I spend alot of time reading articles like this one about foster care. It helps me feel active in this season of waiting. So if you know someone who are foster parents or are thinking about becoming one yourself this is a great article to read!

We should be getting a letter in the mail from DHR about our upcoming GPS classes soon. So I will be starting what I like to call "Stalk the Mailbox". Be on the look out for a post about our GPS classes! 

Summer Reading List 2014

I have always been a book worm. Before we decided to become foster parents I could read several books in one week. Since we made this decision it seems like there has been roadblock after roadblock. I ran across a quote recently that really spoke to my heart concerning this: "When God is up to something big, Satan will use whatever and whomever to prevent it from happening." This was shared on facebook and it came at the perfect time when I needed to be encouraged to press on in this journey. I haven't been reading as much (almost not at all) since last November. So I have decided to make a summer reading list that will hopefully help me get back to doing something that I enjoy so much. The following is my list.

Seven by Jen Hatmaker  I recently posted about this book. I am still reading this book and yes it is still wrecking me. 

Paper Towns by John Green  I am really looking forward to this book. I read The Fault in Our Stars another one of John Green's books and it was so good. It made me cry the ugly cry.

Bridge to Haven by Francine Rivers I love all of Francine Rivers books. She has this amazing ability of weaving together scripture and how it applies to our life in a fictional story that grabs hold of you and doesn't let go.

The Outlander Series by Diana Gabaldon If you like historical fiction and fantasy then this series is for you. I have actually read the first three books. I just never finished and she has recently came out with another book. A television network is also turning the first book into a television show so I am wanting to go back and try to finish reading it.

The Princess by Lori Wick Lori Wick is one of my favorite christian authors. I first read The Princess several years ago and it immediately became one of my "yearly reads". I love this book. I highly recommend reading it if you never had. Especially if your a girl and happen to love princesses! 

You may notice that this is a pretty short list for someone who used to read up to 4 books a week. It is. I want to get back to reading more but just not quite that much! What is your Summer Reading List?

Seven

Seven by Jen Hatmaker. This book has wrecked me.

Most of you have probably at least heard about this book. If not its about how the author Jen Hatmaker took 7 months, identified seven areas of excess, and made seven simple choices to fight back against the modern- day diseases of greed, materialism, and overindulgence.

7 areas of excess: food, clothes, possessions, media, waste, spending, stress.

 I have avoided the book like the plague for the last 2 years since I saw it advertised in my Lifeway mail out. I thought to myself : NOWAY am I reading that book. That girl is crazy. But being my sweet self I told a friend that I thought SHE should read it. I know, I know. I'm the best kind of friend.  I thought I'm good. I don't have a problem with excess. I appreciate what I have. I'm good. Well apparently God thought otherwise. Every time I saw this book in the store I literally had to get away from it as fast as I could. It's like it was taunting me. In the past couple of months the hubby & I (mostly the hubby) have been talking about having a simpler life. How we don't need all the excess and we should be happy with what we have. Mind you at this point I am still in the mindset of "I'm good." But I have to agree with him that a simple life sounds good compared to what feels like the crazy life that we live. In the past few weeks its like this book has been every where for some reason. On facebook,  a friends book list, a picture of a friend reading this very book, until finally I broke. I thought to myself...Ok. Ok. I will read the book. I downloaded a sample and was instantly hooked. This girl IS crazy but in a makes you want to be crazy too kinda way. I immediately when to my local book store and bought the paper back version because I'm a nerd and wanted to be able to highlight and write in the book. I have only finished chapter one and I am wrecked. Yes I am wrecked but in a way that only God can wreck you. I felt I should share this in case any of you wanted to be wrecked too. I will keep you updated as I read through the rest of the book.

Why Blog?

I have been reading blogs for about 4 years now. It has always been amazing to me how people basically bare their souls for the entire world to read. I am the type of person who loves to know things. I research everything and I mean everything. When the hubby and I started to think about adoption I turned to google and the blog world. I found oodles of insightful info. I feel like websites you can find on foster care/adoption (or any topic you desire) is more politically correct facts on the topic. But blogs are real life stories. What its like day in and day out, the good, the bad, the ugly, the joyful. When we went to our GPS orientation I felt like I knew everything there was to know that was available to me at that time. So it blew my google/blog lovin mind when the majority of the people there admitted to not knowing much about foster care and adoption. To me the more I know the more confident I feel. So reading blogs these past few years led me to wanting to start my own. Years ago when Micah and I realized that becoming parents was not going to come easy to us we made a decision to keep God in this and to give Him the glory as we travel this bumpy road. We wanted God to use our story to help other people in the same place if He saw fit. Its not always easy to talk about. Its painful and uncomfortable at times but it is also exciting to see God work in this season of our lives. I also wanted to document this journey and I don't scrapbook and have never been good at keeping a journal. So far not much has happened to blog about so I may sometimes just blog about our life. I plan to blog more regularly once our GPS classes start.