Not Bitter....Joy.

Naomi could not see past her circumstances. The hand was dealt, the credits were rolling. Naomi believed with her head that her God was sovereign, but she was too soul-weary to believe with her heart. And so she calls it. Game over. Name changed…  She couldn’t imagine the bitterness becoming beauty, but her sovereign God could….

We are not named by our circumstances. We are named by our good God.

Is there a discrepancy between the names by which Jesus calls you and the names you give yourself? Are there circumstances in your life to which you are giving undue power, power that rightfully—and in reality!—belongs to our sovereign God alone?  Sister, who names you today—your God or your circumstances? 

My friend Courtney recommended the #shereadstruth bible study and I'm so glad that she did! I dove head first into the Ruth study. I have studied Ruth before and honestly thought "I know Ruth." But God always has something new to teach us doesn't He? This study has been such a blessing and came at absolute perfect timing. The above paragraphs are from today's devotional.

These past few weeks I have felt connected to Naomi. The circumstances are different but the feelings are the same. I am in a good place now but there was a time that I too could have changed my name to bitter. Infertility is in a simple phrase....just plain awful. It sucks. Sorry but that's just the best word for it. It is the craziest roller coaster that you will ever ride. I spent the first several years alot like Naomi. Naomi believed with her head that her God was sovereign, but she was too soul-weary to believe with her heart.   I can look back and see that God was always there. He never left me. My Heart did finally catch up to what I knew to be true. My circumstances do not define who I am. God defines who I am. He knows every hair on my head and holds every tear is his hand. His love for me is far more than anything I can even try to imagine and he has never once left me alone in this journey. I remember the day I finally laid it all at his feet. I say finally because this was hard. Friends would tell me give it all to God. I didn't know how! I wanted to so badly but just couldn't. I prayed that He would help me do this and He did. I will never forget that day and how it felt to kneel before Him and pour it all out. When I rose I knew that I had finally given up my control and gave it to the only one who had the control in the first place. Micah and I since decided to become foster parents and though we are once again waiting I wait with joy in my heart. There are moments that my heart still hurts but I know God has a beautiful plan in place and I will praise Him in our journey.